All Moms Need to Do is Remain

Dec 3

Only God knows the number of hairs on my head and the number of times I have told my kids to stay near me in a parking lot. It’s one of my least favorite parts of motherhood. My boys are too old for me to insist that they hold my hand, yet too young for me to trust them to navigate a busy parking lot without my safe presence. When we exit the car into the dangerous minefield of our church parking lot on Sunday morning, I insist that they remain near me. Don’t get too far ahead! We need to look both ways. People can’t see you! Don’t dawdle! Surrounded by distracted drivers, I know that the safest thing for my boys to do is remain with me.

In John 15, Jesus commands us to “abide” in Him. Most of us are familiar with that word, but also confused by it. When’s the last time you’ve heard the word “abide” outside of Christian contexts? My guess is it was the zero day of the month of never in the year of non-existence. So, thank you, Holman Christian Standard Bible translation for using the word “remain” instead. By remaining in Christ, we experience fruit (John 15:4–5 hcsb). Abundant fruit! Fruit of change in our own hearts and fruit in others from displaying the glory of God to them and fruit of serving the kingdom of God faithfully—more fruit than a farmer’s market in July!

Remaining is Simple, but it isn’t Easy

If you want to experience fruit in motherhood, all you must do is remain in Christ. Regrettably, we tend to make abiding in Christ more complicated than it really is. If it’s hard to enter God’s presence, then we are still bringing something to the table. Fortunately, God refuses to let us remain in our self-righteous efforts. He made coming into his presence simple through prayer. We can do it out loud or in our heads, bowed down beside our beds or driving in the car, using Scripture to guide our words or groaning out the depths of our emotion before God. Don’t even know what you need? No problem! Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are currently at work interceding on our behalf.[1]

Remaining isn’t that complicated. That’s why I’m mystified by how many times I must exhort my boys to stick with me in one trip through the church parking lot. We need a lot of reminders to remain too. The world is distracting. Just concentrating on one thing in the midst of everyday motherhood can feel impossible, but if life is complicated and circumstances are hard it’s like we’re standing on a rock in the middle of the ocean during a hurricane. Of course it will take some effort to keep our feet firmly planted in hard seasons!

Conversely, a lack of challenging circumstances can make remaining difficult too. It’s hard to train our attention on God when life around us looks shiny and exciting. Whether it’s challenge or boredom that plagues us, remaining isn’t passive.

Working to Restore Broken Intimacy

Intimacy with God has been broken by the fall. Back in the garden, Adam and Eve experienced true intimacy with God. Walking with him in the cool of the day, learning from him without the barrier of sin. But because of the fall, our world and our hearts are broken. We ignore the presence of God and experience an emptiness in our souls. We try to fill that hole with people and things and experiences that will always be second rate and ineffective at filling the void. Thankfully, through the work of Christ, our relationship with God can be restored. As we rest in his work, we are also responsible to make every effort to grow in our faith.[2]

But moms already have so much work to do, and our relationship with God is often put on the backburner. Well-meaning friends, family, and podcast hosts may tell you that it’s okay, busy moms just don’t have time to meet with God. People think they are letting you off the hook, but it makes remaining with God seem impossible (or at least improbable).

This diminishes mothers. If a mom can manage to keep all of her people fed for the day, get them off to school and activities, keep the household running smoothly, and pour herself out in whatever job or ministry she does, then she can also apply her creativity to identify unused spaces to meet with God. No, it may not be 45 minutes alone doing inductive Bible study before her children wake up (or it might be!), but meeting with God is not relegated to a comfy chair beside a fire with a cup of coffee.

Quiet time does not have to be quiet. It can be listening to your Bible app and praying on the drive to work. It can be memorizing your Bible verse as you shower. It can be a worship music dance party as you make dinner. Do not give up experiencing the presence of God in any season, no matter the circumstances.

Remain in the Safety of your Heavenly Father

Motherhood is full of obstacles, opportunities to get tripped up, and unexpected hardships arising out of nowhere. It’s basically your church parking lot. Thankfully, we have a Heavenly Father who exhorts us to remain in him, and in his nearness we will find ourselves safely navigating the dangers of this world.

[1] Hebrews 7:25; Romans 8:27, 34

[2] 2 Peter 1:5

Editor’s Note: This article is an excerpt from Motherhood Without all the Rules: Trading Stressful Standards for Gospel Truths and is used here by permission.