I Never Wanted to Become a Desperate Mom
I never wanted to become a desperate mom.
When my first son was a toddler, I remember a book came out with a mom laid flat on her back on the front cover. She looked exhausted & overwhelmed...desperate. I remember scrolling by it thinking, "I hope I never need a book like that. Motherhood doesn't have to leave you desperate."
Well, fast forward through a set of twins & a fourth baby in under 4 years.
4 little ones in diapers. 4 little ones waking in the night. 4 little ones pining for my love & immediate attention.
Somewhere in there, it happened. I'm not sure of the exact day; but I transformed from a strong mom into a desperate mom. I started losing my patience, my energy & my faith in my ability to be enough for everyone. If you were take a picture of my soul, it was more like the mom on the cover of that book - laid flat & in need of someone help to carry all the weight.
The thing is, in both of those seasons, I was thinking wrongly. Near the beginning of motherhood, I primarily identified myself as a "STRONG MOM," which left me prideful, judgemental & convinced I had the stuff good moms were made of. Later in motherhood, I often identified myself as a "DESPERATE MOM," which left me buried in heaps of self-pity & condemnation.
But then I remembered...
I'm not a STRONG mom or a DESPERATE mom, I'm a REDEEMED mom.
I only have one identity that gets to tell me what to do - my identity in Jesus. I'm in Christ, adopted into a holy family, with an untarnished rap sheet before the throne. There is nothing left for me to earn, prove or posture for. God sought me at my worst, & put Christ in me so I could be at my best for His glory. And because of the wonderful freedom he purchased for me, I am not a slave to my sin or my success.
Moms, wherever you are at today - strong, desperate, or somewhere in between - remember that if you are a follower of Christ there is only ONE STORY that defines you, and ONE PERSON who tells you who you are. Believe this, & live: desperate for a Savior & strong because He loves you.