How To Find A Mentor In Motherhood
So many of us entered motherhood feeling totally unequipped for the task, both emotionally and practically. Whether it was questions about how to soothe a gassy infant or questions about how to keep going on days with 3 hours of sleep, the need for helpers arrives swiftly at the doorstep. With all of these insecurities, and a real need for guidance, we quickly can find ourselves needing a mentor.
While that sounds good in theory, is it realistic to find a mentor in motherhood? And even if you find someone, how do you approach them and what should your expectations be? Here are 3 quick thoughts I have on engaging a mentor:
1. Be bold: Although we would love for that woman we admire to "notice" us and our needs, the reality is that most women feel busy and inadequate for the task of mentorship. If you see a woman who might make a good mentor for you, consider approaching her and sharing your desire for more wisdom in motherhood. At worst, she'll probably love your idea and connect you to someone else who can help, and at best, you've found a mentor!!
2. Be clear: Most people have a hard time making and staying committed to ambiguous things. When you find a mentor, consider agreeing to meet for a set amount of time (twice a month for 6 months - for example). Also, it's helpful to know what you'll be talking about when you come together (a bible study, a book, a set of questions?). Clear and realistic expectations make for better results!
3. Be strategic: Not every mom (or mentor) has time for an intense, drawn-out relationship. But that doesn't mean you can't still seek input from an older, wiser woman! Write down your specific questions, and consider inviting someone over during naptime or out for early-morning coffee. Give them your questions in advance, and make the most of your short time together.
God designed us to live in community with other moms and learn wisdom from each other-so seek out those relationships.