Expectations

When Your Husband Isn't the Father You Imagined: Gracious Truths for the Disillusioned Mom

When Your Husband Isn't the Father You Imagined: Gracious Truths for the Disillusioned Mom

I remember the first time I ever saw my husband with a baby. I found myself in a daydream in that moment, as love struck young women do, of what it would be like to raise a family with this kind, servant-hearted, steady man.

The daydream crumbled shortly after we came home from the hospital with our newborn son four years later.

Those first few weeks were really difficult. Caring for our child came much more naturally to me. Gradually, I started to just do things myself instead of asking for help because it was easier that way, but it didn't stop resentment from growing in my heart. I had looked forward to all the ways that parenthood would make us closer and more in love, but those first few months were nothing like I had imagined.

It was so much lonelier.

I wish I could sit down for coffee with that grieving, disillusioned mama and offer her the encouragement in this article, but instead, I pray that if you are struggling the way that I was in that first year, that this article would meet you in that place and offer hope.

Your Father sees, hears, and knows.

Your Father has given you all that you need.

Your Father is sovereign over this season.

Your Father is able to change hearts.

So this Father’s Day, if you have experienced something similar, celebrate your husband for what he is: the father of your children.

Reach deeply for the things he is doing well. Encourage him with the ways that you see God working in him and through him.Tell him that you know what a great responsibility it is and how much of a challenge it is and how you are committed to supporting him and praying for him.

Most of all, feel the blessing of your heavenly Father loving you not according to what you have done, but because of who you are in Christ, and extend that same patience, grace, and favor to your spouse.

When Expectations Hurt Your Motherhood

When Expectations Hurt Your Motherhood

When I consider a common source of my irritability, it's summed up in one word: expectations.

I expect my children to be neat and tidy, quiet, simple to discipline, and free of health issues or sleep problems. I expect them to be the model of godliness at the ripe age of 3. I expect them to make me look like I'm doing a wonderful job so everyone can see how "under control" we are. I expect them not to overreact or ignore my direction.