Grandparents can be some of the most loving and helpful relationships in the lives of our children, but they can also be some of the most complicated. Navigating different expectations, values, and family cultures can cause miscommunication and even estrangement. In this episode, Emily and Laura ask the question, “Why do Grandma and Grandpa get under our skin sometimes?” which is really a way of examining our own hearts in light of the gospel. What we worship determines how we respond to happy and hard relationships, and only when we reorient our eyes to Christ’s sacrifice can we approach these issues with grace.
Articles, Resources and Related Content:
- X-Ray Questions: Drawing Out the Whys and Wherefores of Human Behavior – David Powlison
- Loving Difficult People – Stacy Reaoch (Desiring God)
- Loving Someone in Their Mess – Colleen Chao (Revive Our Hearts)
- 10 Common Mistakes in Difficult Relationships – Lina Abujamra (Revive Our Hearts)
- Simple Advice about Mommy Advice – Jasmine Holmes (Desiring God)
- FAQ: Should I Curtail Grandparent Gift-Giving – Jen Wilkin
- God’s Wisdom, Your Relationships – Paul Tripp (Desiring God)
- How do we Keep Ourselves from Idol Worship? - David Powlison (CCEF)
- When Sin is Grievous and Grace is Stunning – Tim Keller (The Gospel Coalition)
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This fall, the RM team will be experimenting with adding discussion questions to serve as a launch point for further conversation. Our hope is that these questions will encourage you to dig deep and see how the gospel transforms motherhood.
Whenever we approach difficulty in a relationship, we should always first seek to understand our part in the problem (Matt. 7:1-5). Let’s think about how personal brokenness affects a current struggle – or a few! - in your relationship with the grandparents in your life.
- When we worship something other than God, we experience frustration, anxiety, disappointment, and more. Laura and Emily mentioned David Powlison’s “X-ray Questions” on the show this week. After reading this article, what functional gods can you pinpoint in your heart?
- In what ways have these functional gods harmed your specific grandparent relationships?
- Looking to Christ’s atonement for our sins (the gospel) as the ultimate example, how would you describe a grace-based relationship?
- What would a gospel-minded response to your specific problem look like?
- The reality of being on this side of heaven is that we will continue to sin against one another, including grandparents. In what ways can you continue to reorient your heart towards the gospel again and again?