When Littles Make You Want to Check Out in Marriage
Life with little ones can make marriage challenging at times.
The dates you promised to go on with some regularity are shortened by a nursing baby that won't take a bottle.
The idea of going out of town for a getaway can be unrealistic when you have to find willing and available childcare.
The ability to watch a movie at home is even rare, if you share your bedroom with a baby crib and can barely keep your eyes open past 9:30.
Even so, it's still possible to have a healthy and thriving marriage in the season of babies and small children. Especially when you recognize it's more about making the small daily choices than waiting on all the big romantic gestures.
Maybe it's engaging in a conversation when you just want to be "off duty." Maybe it's doing an activity together when you want to just browse the internet or read a book. Maybe it's serving your husband, even when you're worn out from serving others all day. Maybe it's reserving energy for physical intimacy when you're touched out and talked out.
These choices and small moments aren't wrapped up as easy tips or to-dos, and they aren't accomplished with a few babysitters or a weekend amidst palm trees (although those things are helpful and wonderful). These are ideals, values, character traits, and beliefs about the core importance of marriage that govern your everyday actions.
Because ultimately, our marriages aren't about our feelings of romance or desire to be pursued and served—our marriages exist for the praise and glory of God.
So if you have young kids and you're feeling the pressure to pull away or become complacent in your marriage—resist! Remember how much the church is to love Christ, and you can model God's love as you remain faithful to your covenant. These things can create a marriage that is passionately thriving amidst diapers, night wakings, and long seasons of training toddlers.
Today, choose to do the small things that draw you closer to your husband and invest you deeper into your marriage (even—and especially—when it's hard).
Because Jesus pursues and invests in you when you're less-than-loveable and undeserving of his amazing grace.
