Looking for Rest in the Wrong Places

My eyes began to scan the room. The boys had not put away the toys like I had requested multiple times. Instead, they had shirts off and were running chest-first into each other. Dinner was in the works, but the water had just boiled over, pooling onto my pine wood floors. I still had school lunches to unpack, dishes to tidy, and children to feed before we dashed away to get to my daughter’s gymnastics class on time. After settling the watery mess, I found myself escaping into a corner with my phone.

Overwhelm, loneliness, or lack of mental stimulation often lead me to escape through social media. These pockets of two to three minutes are meant to be a place of refuge—a moment to catch my breath, maybe see an adult or two (albeit through a screen), engage in a fragment of a conversation with a friend—before I'm catapulted again into being the play police for my children.

In these moments of weariness, though, when I am seeking to satisfy my valid human need for connection, my choice to retreat to my phone usually results in further alienation from truth and love. My disheartened heart scrolls through pictures of moms doing it better—or memorable phrases meant to make me feel better about not being better. Instead of clearing my cluttered mind, I find I'm heaping more into it. Every new stone thrown onto the pile adds additional weight that serves to only crush me. 

Danger: Rocks Ahead

I know that I am not alone in my tendency to escape when feeling pushed and prodded. I habitually pick up my phone as a way to turn off my brain for a moment and rekindle lost clarity or peace. But instead, I find further unrest because the voices from my devices are often speaking warped messages. I catch a comical reel that subtly belittles motherhood; I hear sarcastic quips that antagonize relationships; I’m pressured to perform beyond my capacity; I watch celebrities and wannabes competing for even more attention—and with my lowered defenses, it all seems fine. 

Moms, we should be wary of where we go in our weariness. When we are tired and weak, we’re often unable to properly distinguish a bad idea from a good one. And discerning the trivial from the substantial is a job for someone who is wearing their belt of truth, shield of faith, and helmet of salvation.[1] We must firmly know what the Bible teaches and be ready to think critically at all times—especially when we jump onto the internet. 

While it can offer us helpful tidbits and genuine connections at times, social media is also a forest of misinformation—and even deliberate lies from hardened hearts. Algorithms don’t favor words of light and love but tend to elevate controversy and anger. So, we can’t count on our feed as a safe place to find encouragement. And it isn’t our best place to find rest.

Choosing Our Influencer

Day to day, we have a choice of where we place our attention. In Luke’s gospel, we read of Jesus’s encounter with two sisters. Martha was distracted by her work of many good things yet was forfeiting the Best Thing who was only an arm’s reach away. Her sister, Mary, on the other hand, sat at Jesus’s feet with eyes intent and ears attuned, learning from her teacher.[2] In that moment, Mary’s heart recognized the most necessary thing. I want to be Mary. I want to stop and rest in God’s presence when I get bombarded by my responsibilities. Instead of searching for more on a device made to enslave my desires, I want to still my heart and empty my hands in surrender for my Lord and Teacher to fill. 

The safest and purest place we are to find rest is in the presence of Jesus. He said: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). 

Sometimes, our burdens are difficult circumstances or people beyond our control. Other times, our burdens are self-made—the burdens to perform, succeed, achieve, do better, do more—none of which are part of God’s plan. The Bible tells us to die to self and to the practices that serve our sinful nature[3]—which might look like giving our feeds an honest and critical review and clicking “unfollow”—or perhaps even “delete.” No matter how we acquire our burdens, Matthew 11 reminds us that we can cast them freely on Christ.

Jesus told his disciples to learn from him because he is humble and gentle at heart. We are safe with him. With tenderness, Jesus satisfies the one thing we cannot find on our own as he answers our soul’s cry for meaning and connection, reaching deeper than any human could. In him alone do we find rest for our souls.

I probably won’t stop hiding from my kids from time to time, but what I choose to do in my stolen moments can help or hinder my pursuit for renewed peace. Turning those minutes into prayer and praise will serve me far more than even the most encouraging Instagram influencers or podcasters ever could. So, let us regularly turn off those vying voices and seek our Lord first and foremost—the only One who can give us perfect rest.

[1] Ephesians 6:10-18

[2] Luke 10:38-42

[3] Galatians 2:20; Luke 9:23; Colossians 3:3