In our creativity and our motherhood, community is God’s gracious gift to us—to support and strengthen us along the way.

When we feel the loneliness and uncertainty of being a newcomer, the gospel reminds us that friendship is a good gift—created, redeemed, and restored by our God.

As we enter into other moms’ lives with words of hope and support, we can point them to the better encouragement of Christ Jesus.

As we connect with others in gospel friendship, we reflect the love of the triune God who made us for relationship.

One of the greatest comforts we can offer a suffering friend is coming alongside her to lament and point her heart to Christ.

When we’re willing to make the first move in friendship, we can reflect the love and pursuit of our ultimate friend, Jesus.

Here are three of the most effective expressions of care that you can offer a friend in the wake of pregnancy loss.

Though our days may already be filled with serving our own families, when a friend is in crisis, we have a beautiful opportunity to serve her and help her experience the love of Christ.

The little years might not seem like the season for mentoring. But we don’t have to have it all together to have something to offer—the beauty of mentoring is growing together.

Caring for our children often leaves us with little time to care for our friends. But with a little creativity, we can be a friend at all times, even when we don’t have time.

Infertility is painful for countless reasons, but one reason is women can feel isolated from or misunderstood by their loved ones.

I know this struggle all too well.

Now that I’m in my early 30’s, I’m the only woman in my circle of friends who does not have children. I respect and admire their commitment to their families, for that is a good, godly calling! However, the natural result tends to leave me, a childless woman, feeling removed or not properly cared for.

How, then, should you love your friend suffering through infertility?

There isn’t one ideal approach, and every woman is different but here’s what I’ve learned. By leaning into Christ, you can love and serve her well through these three Gospel-centered ways:

(1) Mourn with her.

(2) Remind of her of her identity in Christ.

(3) Speak truth, not fluff.

There is unending grace for you and your friend as you navigate this trial together. Be committed, be bound, be unshakable.

There was a time when I struggled when other moms in our church made choices for their children different than my own. I worried that I was not spiritual enough, or that others were judging me, or that perhaps I was actually missing how God was leading me.

My struggle wasn’t with God’s will but rather with my own insecurity.

I’ve found that my discomfort with differences is not unusual among women in the church, particularly among young mothers who are navigating many important decisions for the first time. Our greatest struggles and misunderstandings leading to disunity are typically about secondary, non-gospel issues, such as education, working versus non-working, financial choices, and parenting practices.

Instead of secondary, we often make these choices primary identity markers for who we are and how we’re doing as mothers and disciples of Jesus. As a result, we self-divide within the church, huddling into groups that share our convictions and can best relate to us.

In order to experience unity as mothers, we must intentionally reject uniformity and instead celebrate the unique gifts, skills, life circumstances, and choices others may use to adorn the gospel.

Paul tells us that a grace-filled response will allow for differences on secondary issues. We don’t all have to do everything the same way, and in fact we can’t all do everything the same way.

Each of us lives by faith as unto the Lord, and we will account only to God for how we lived in response to him. Because of this, we aren’t to judge others who think or act differently on these issues. Just as we trust God to lead and care for us, we must trust God to lead and care for others.

When we see more quickly what unifies us rather than what makes us different, we focus on what is truly at the heart of the kingdom of God, and we’re able to speak grace into the lives of others who are weary, dry, and desperate for it.

And isn’t that every mother within the church?